This post was written in my mind as I paced my house with a newborn that has taken several tries to fall asleep. I am still wearing my purple sweatpants, not bra, and a t-shirt that smells like old, dry milk (it's almost 3:00). My hair is pulled back for the 40th day in a row... half of it falling out. I pass by the mirror in the bathroom to check to see if I have a sleeping baby and see the tired eyes that I have once again today. I feel like I have barely talked to my 3-year old more-less played with her or taught her anything. My 2 year old wants me to hold him and I have had to tell him several times that I can't... followed by tears. Then I remember readying the facebook post of a fellow Mom that seems that she has it all together and then a blog of another who seems to be supermom (clean house, happy and smart kids, a perfect husband)... I'm definitely not feeling like the young, beautiful lady that I have so often worked hard to achieve and definitely not feeling like the supermom that I wish I was... I think "Is this really what God has made me for???"...
Thankfully I 'heard' the verse that I have said to myself many times lately...
1 Peter 3:3-4
New International Version (NIV)
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
Today I choose to believe that God sees beauty differently... He sees beauty in the tired eyes of a Mom that has done her best today.
... I'm sure I will need to re-read this post tomorrow...
Beautiful honest post Emily. I often feel that reading blogs, Facebook, social media shows only a glimpse, and often a "sugar coated" glimpse" into real life. I have spent days feeling and looking the same way as you, and continue to do so. You are a beautiful mom who loves and adores her children, and that is shining through those tired eyes.
ReplyDeleteEmily, you are one of the most beautiful women I know!! I've always "idolized" you for the way you and Matt journey through marriage and parenthood. I love reading about your growing family.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post by a beautiful woman!! Funny how social media often makes us feel like we're not quite keeping up. But behind every perfect post and status update are real hurts, tired mommies, etc. Thanks for putting a voice to that! I keep reminding myself to enjoy these tired days... they'll soon be gone!!
ReplyDeleteYou speak for me this week---trust me, we all have these moments! Chris was traveling, flying solo with two little boys that are crazy wild in the winter, basement flooded due to a broken sump pump, and about to be 35 weeks pregnant. This post was a great reminder for me about what's important. I read a lot of blogs and it is really hard to feel like we are the only ones struggling when some people seem to always have it all together, but trust me, I don't think anyone does! Thinking of you with three little ones---I will be joining you soon and am not sure how I will manage!
ReplyDeleteJulie